Slowly Disappearing
by TobiasEverdeenJackson22456
Summary: Mockingjay. Peeta's rescued with seemingly nothing mentally wrong and Peeta and Katniss have a happy reunion. What happens when their bliss and happiness suddenly comes to a tragic end? What happens when everything Katniss loved is slowly disappearing until it fades into nothingness? What happens when everything Peeta's ever known slowly starts to disappear from his mind? Everlark!
1. Chapter: Prologue

**Hello everyone. Thank you those few that reviewed. I couldn't believe I got such positive reviews so quickly. I just couldn't seem to work on any of my other stories until I completed this so here it is.**

**This will be one of the few chapters that take place during multiple days.**

**I will try to make every chapter 2-5 thousand words**

**Disclaimer:  I don't own anything HG all rights go to Suzanne Collins  
**

**Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

**_You never know what you really have until you lose it bit by bit til it's finally gone._**

* * *

_**Chapter: Prologue**_

_**August 21-23**_

_3rd Person_

* * *

_August 21_

Ever since the second interview Peeta did in the capitol Katniss has had to have been sent back to the mental ward in the hospital and labeled mentally unstable again.

All she does anymore is lay in her bed and cry. She cries herself to sleep each night and every morning wakes up screaming Peeta's name. She rarely talks to anyone when she saw the interview of Peeta beat on stage yesterday she just seemed to finally break. She talked to no one. All she did was lay on her bed staring at the ceiling trembling as silent tears rolled down her face. She had to be sedated after that interview because she completely freaked out, screaming as loud as she could and sobbing on the ground.

Finnick shares a hospital room with Katniss and tries to get her to talk but it's no use because Katniss doesn't even seem to see him and just continues to stare at the ceiling. The only person who can seem to get a reaction of Katniss is Prim and surprisingly Haymitch who's seemed to have become a type of fatherly figure to Katniss, he's even sobered up.

* * *

_Haymitch's POV_

* * *

I just got out of another meeting with coin and her staff. She finally seems to realize that Katniss won't be the face of the rebellion if she doesn't have Peeta at her side. She finally staged a rescue team to get him and the others captured by the capitol tonight. I just have to make sure Katniss doesn't figure out today because if she does she will probably try to get on the hovercraft with them. I guess I'll go see her then, hopefully she'll talk to me.

I walk into her room and see the usual sight now a days; Finnick is sitting up in his bed focused on trying to make an intricate knot with the small piece of string he has and Katniss is still laying in her bed eyes bloodshot from crying and from only staring at the ceiling.

I make my way towards Katniss' bed while giving a nod to Finnick who looked up as I entered only to quickly look back down at his string. I sat down on the chair next to Katniss' bed and wiped the silent stream of tears running down her face.

I held her hand not sure what to do because this is definitely not my strong suit and tried to get some recognition of of her.

"Sweetheart" I started still not sure what I was going to say, "you can't just lay here forever. You need to get up and at least try and get better."

That only seemed to make it worse as she started to make those horrible choking sounds you get before you start to sob.

"Shh Shh Shh" I wispered, "calm down Katniss I don't want the doctors to have to sedate you."

But that only seemed to make it worse as she started to sob out loud and did something that surprised me. She sprung up in her bed and wrapped her arms around me as she sobbed and then did something that shocked me even more. She talked. She hasn't done that in days.

"I just miss him so much" Katniss croaked through her parched throat.

I didn't know how to respond so I just held her and whispered," It'sokay sweetheart he's a strong boy he'll be fine."

It once again only seemed to make it worse as she was gasping for air through her sobs. "It's not okay Haymitch, you saw the last saw the last interview. You saw how bad he looked saw how bad he looked. Their killing him and it's all my fault." She can barely talk with all her sobbing but she somehow manages to get out, "That should have been me. He shouldn't have to go through any of this. I am the problem."

A few tears drip from my eyes. I hate to see her like this.

Soon doctors rush into the room with some morphine. I wave them off as I saw,"Sweetheart neither of you deserve this, It's not your fault, It's not anyone's fault except the capitols."

She soon started to claw at her throat. She screamed and shouted at me for not saving Peeta. She drew her own blood with her long finger nails. She was surprisingly strong for such a thin and frail girl. I finally got her restrained and waved the doctor with the syringe of morphine over. He pushed the needle into her vein in her struggling arm and just before she was totally consumed by the morphine I hemisphere, "I'm sorry".

Soon a steady stream of tears were rolling down my own face. I hated having to watch her get sedated because just as she's about to go under she looks at me with pure terror written in her eyes and I know it's because the nightmares are amplified when she's on morphine.

How can the capitol do something like this to both her and the boy. To anyone. I gripped the back of the chair I was sitting on minutes ago until my fingers turned white.

In my rage I flipped the chair over and pushed my way through the doctors and stalked out of the hospital.

I walked towards my room and as soon as I opened it I slammed the door and walked to my dresser to where I smuggled in some of my whiskey. I haven't drank since I got to thirteen but today after what Katniss said I just need to forget for today. I drank til the bottle was empty and then collapsed on my bed tears still staining my cheeks.

I was consumed by the darkness of unconsciousness with one last hopeful thought,'at least I can tell her the boys going to be rescued.' With that I passed out the liquor saving me from a night of nightmares.

* * *

_August 22_

_Haymitch's POV_

* * *

A loud banging on my door wakes me up from my drunk stupor. I waited seeing if the person would go away but the banging continued so I stood up and stumbled to the door.

I opened it up and standing in front of me was a dirty blonde haired boy with calming chocolate brown eyes. He was dressed in the standard grey military uniforms. He stood with his fist in the air about to knock again when he recognized the door was open. I finally realized who he was, his name was Aaron he was one of the people sent with me to rescue Katniss from the arena. Before Katniss completely shut down he actually befriended her which is no small feat. (**New character! you'll see more of him.**)**  
**

"Haymitch your wanted in the command center" Aaron said in a strict tone. Aaron is usually very laid back but when he is working he is strict and always does what he's told.

"Why" I ask in a gruff voice.

"President Coin wants to talk to you." Aaron answered never breaking eye contact and standing up straight as a pencil.

"Fine lead the way"

We walk towards the Command room and as Aaron has seemed to have done his duty he changes his demeanor and lets out a bright smile and seems to stand a little less straight.

After walking for a little bit he finally asked,"How's Katniss doing?"

I close my eyes for a minute as I remember her screaming at me. "Worse but I sure hope she gets somewhat better once I tell her Peeta's getting rescued."

"Peeta's getting rescued?" Aaron asked

I just nod my head and we finish the walk in silence.

As soon as we enter the Command room Aaron stand up straight again and salutes Coin. She nods her head and says, "You are dismissed soldier."

I went over to one of the chairs around the round table and sat turning towards Coin.

She seemed to study me for a moment before she finally said, "As we speak the rescue team is slowly breaking their way into the capitol to save the victors." She paused before continuing saying," I need you to get Katniss to do a propo."

I just sat there shocked. did she not see that two days ago Katniss totally broke right here in this room. How could she possibly think that Katniss could do a propo in this state.

"Do you really think Katniss will be able to do a propo. She can't even talk without sobbing." I asked Coin.

She just shrugged and said "the rescue team needs a distraction what better than a propo of katniss telling all of Panem that the fight still lives on."

I was getting angry at how emotionless and careless she was towards anyone," do you have any idea how hard it is just to get Katniss to talk let alone move? She can't do it!" I said my anger slowly rising.

"Well she has to or else I will call off the rescue mission."

Before I did something I regretted I stormed out of the room slamming the door behind me to the sound of, "Did I dismiss you?"

At that point I decided I wouldn't tell Katniss there is a rescue mission to save Peeta. I don't want to see her get her hopes up only to fall back down again. I'll tell her when I'm sure Peeta is rescued.

* * *

_Finnick's POV_

* * *

I was sitting on my bed as usual tying a small knot when I hear Katniss gasp and I could hear her crying.

I get out of my bed and walk over to her. Terror that is the only thing I see in her eyes. Her eyes are opened but it seems as if she's still trapped in her nightmare.

I rest my hand on her shoulder and give her a small shake. She gasps awake taking large shuddering breaths.

I try to do what I saw Peeta do in the Quell when Katniss was waking up from a nightmare so I wrapped my arms around her in a hug while I whisper the words that Peeta always used to comfort her. "Not real Katniss, not real. Whatever you saw isn't real."

She pulls away from me and after taking another large gulp of air she actually answers me and says,"but it was real Peeta isn't here and the capitol is killing him as we speak."

With that she breaks down again in quiet sobs.

"Katniss they aren't killing him, they can't."

She holds back another sob and asks, "How do you know that?"

I answer feeling the pain myself,"Because their doing the same thing to me with Annie." I saw confusion in her eyes so I continued," They won't kill either of them because they know that they can use them against us. They know that they can break you with him."

That only seems to make it worse for her though because she gets a faraway look in her eyes and starts whispering "_my fault_" over and over again to herself.

In the arena I wasn't sure if Katniss actually loved Peeta in the arena but now I am certain she does. Poor girl I think. She doesn't deserve this and neither does Peeta.

I'm about to call the nurses to sedate Katniss again no matter how much I hate watching the fear in her eyes as the do sedate her.

Luckily Haymitch saves me from doing it as he rushes in with anger clear on his face. He looks up at me and gives me a nod before he sets his gaze on Katniss. His face immediately softens as he sees her. It then turns to a look of worry as he sees the look on her face and hears what she's whispering.

Haymitch looks up at me with such a hardened glare it make the hair on my neck stand. "What did you do to her." Haymitch asks in a growl.

I look away from his glare and say, "I told her how the capitol won't kill Peeta because they can use him against her."

That only seems to make the glare worse as he says," You idiot she already blames herself for getting Peeta hurt but now she really believes it."

Haymitch turns his attention back to Katniss and starts whispering something in her ear. Whatever it was it snapped her out of it as she finally stops whispering my fault to herself. She is soon sitting up in her bed looking at Haymitch.

Haymitch lets out a sigh before saying," Coin wants you two to do a propo."

Katniss immediately shakes her head fear in her eyes. I could only guess she is thinking that if she does a propo Peeta will get hurt.

Haymitch crouches down so he is eye level with Katniss and holds her hand saying," Sweetheart I know your scared but if you do this Coin might consider sending out a rescue mission."

At the mention of Peeta's rescue Katniss' eyes light up with a fire I haven't seen in a while.

"Get dressed sweetheart we'll wait outside." Haymitch tells Katniss as he waves me to the door.

As soon as Haymitch walks out of the room and closes the door I ask," Is Coin really considering a rescue mission or are you just lying to Katniss. If you are do you realize how heartbroken she would be."

Haymitch holds his hand up as I'm about to rant at him more and tells me,"Only part of it was a lie."

At that I was about to yell at him when he once again holds up his hand and continues, "There is already a rescue mission breaking into the capitol as we speak."

My eyes widen at that and Haymitch continues," Coin wants us to do the propo so that we could distract the capitol long enough to break Peeta out."

I'm confused though," So why didn't you tell her that?"

Haymitch looks down before saying," Because Coin said if Katniss doesn't do the propo she will cancel the mission. I don't want to get Katniss' hopes up if I might just have to break them again."

He was about to say more when Katniss opens the door.

Haymitch gives her a big smile before putting a hand on her back and leading her to the elevator.

* * *

_Katniss' POV_

* * *

I didn't want to do this propo because Peeta might get hurt because of it but I was going to do it because it meant I might see him again.

There were two good things about this though; one I didn't have to go through any extensive prepping, I just needed some makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes and two we were doing the propo outside in the woods around thirteen.

I was put into my mockingjay suit before Boggs leads us up through a series of ladders until we reach a trapdoor at the top. As soon as he opens it fresh air rushes in. It's the first time in a while I've been outside. It feels great.

The world comes rushing back to me though as Boggs abruptly stops. I don't know what the problem is at first until I look up and see the ground strewn with fresh pinnk and red roses. "Don't touch them!" I yell out already knowing snow sent them for me.

The sickening smell that radiates of the roses hits my nose like a freight train, and my heart begins to hammer loudly against my chest.

Long stemmed pink and red roses, the very flowers that decorated the stage where Peeta and I performed our post victory interview, the smae rose that was on my dresser and in my study.

To top it off in the middle of it all is a small envelope with a red wax seal.

Haymitch goes through the maze of flowers and picks up the envelope, he quickly breaks the seal and takes out a small card.

I don't know what it says but whatever it is it must be bad because as soon as he reads it all color drains from his face.

Haymitch walks back to us like nothing is wrong and stays silent.

"Haymitch what did it say?" I ask

"nothing sweatheart." Haymitch answers with the same blank face he had on before.

Now I really want to know," Haymitch give me the card."

Haymitch just shakes his head," You don't want to see this"

I may be small and weaker than I once was but I'm still face so I yank the card out of Haymitch's hand and look at it.

I immediately regret looking at it because as soon as I do I know I am about to have a panic attack. I start takinig deep breaths as I read the card over and over again the print written in a dripping red ink almost as if... oh no, no no no no... almost as if it is written in blood.

_How are you Ms. Everdeen because I can assure you that Mr. Mellark is having a wonderful time here with me._

I am know gasping for breath as I drop the card from my hand and fall to the ground in a sobbing heap.

Eventually I can feel Haymitch pick me up and I can feel a needle being pressed into my skin. Whatever sedative they used must have been strong because I was out in no time.

Now I just have to survive the nightmares.

* * *

_August 23_

_Haymitch's POV_

* * *

I still can't get over what that letter said. Why does Katniss have to be so stubborn why could she just have let it go and not saw it.

I can't get the look out of her face as she read the card out of my mind

She had such a look of fear and horror in her eyes and I know it wasn't just from the words written but from how the ink looked like it was someone's blood.

Damn Snow.

* * *

_Finnick's POV_

* * *

I read the card as soon as Katniss dropped it.

How horrified she must be feeling. I can only imagine after everything she's been through in such a short series of time.

I'm surprised she still has any fight left in her. How can she not be totally and utterly broken by know.

That rescue team better hurry up and save Peeta soon before she can't take it any longer.

I am interrupted from my thoughts as Haymitch comes rushing into the room and goes straight to my bed.

"We need to get Katniss out of bed so she can do that propo." Haymitch blurts out urgently

I look over at Katniss' bed and once again see her staring blankly up at the ceiling.

I sigh and get out of my bed and go over to Katniss'.

I grab her hand and hold it in my own before saying,"Come on Katniss you need to get up, we need to finish the propo from yesterday."

She merely continues staring ahead not even letting any sign of recognition cross her features.

I continue saying,"This is exactly what Snow wants to happen."

At this Katniss turns her head and stares at me in replace of the ceiling.

"Snow knows exactly what he's doing to you. It's like Cinna being beat in front of you before the quell, the mutts having the eyes of the tributes, the flowers. They were meant to unhinge you."

I pause again to see Katniss' reaction. Her blank and far-away look slowly fades and she starts to look at me with some recognition.

"You can't let Snow get what he wants. Don't let him break you, don't let him win. Your strong you can fight him."

Haymitch then speaks up," Come on sweetheart, get up, get dressed, and meet us outside we need to finish the propo."

Katniss just nods her head and as we walk out of the room Haymitch says,"Remember your doing this for Peeta."

With that I see her get up from her bed as we close the door.

* * *

Katniss has finally finished being prepped and is in her Mockingjay suit so Boggs once again leads us to the surface and is sure to lead us a different way than yesterdays to avoid the roses.

Once Cressida, Castor, and Pollux have set up a suitable place to film at, Katniss asks rather shakily," So, what exactly do you need from me?"

"Just a few quick lines letting Panem know that you're still alive and fighting and to let Snow know he hasn't won yet." Cressida responds.

Katniss nods and I'm nervous not sure if she can do it.

For minutes Kantiss just stares at the camera letting out deep shaky breaths. Finally when she opens her mouth and my hopes rise they fall just as quickly as she turns to Cressida and says," I'm sorry, I just can't do this, I don't know what to say."

Cressida signals to Castor and Pollux to stop filming and walks over to Katniss. She whispers a few things to her that I can't hear a I see her give Katniss something to drink.

After one more thing said to Katniss and a head nod Katniss turns to the rest of us and tells us,"were going to try doing the Q and A thing again."

I just nod and right before the filming begins I give a thumbs up to Katniss even though I'm really not sure everything will be okay.

The interview then begins.

"So, Katniss You've survived two Hunger games how do they compare to this war?" Cressida asks.

Immediately I wished she would have started off with and easier question.

Katniss answers though," Well the Hunger games brought a lot less harm to others than this war but even through all this harm Thirteen's alive and well and so am-" Katniss' voice cuts off into a dry, squeaking sound.

"Come on Katniss just this one line." Cressida says.

She takes a deep breath and tries agian,"Thirteen's alive and well-" She gets even less this time before her voice cuts off again.

"I swear Katniss this will all be over as soon as you finish this line." Cressida pleads.

I can see it in Katniss' eyes she can't do it.

Katniss opens her mouth to try again but instead of her line only sobs come out of her mouth.

Haymitch runs over to Katniss and envelopes her in a hug.

I hear Cressida yell cut and then ask,"What's wrong with her?"

I respond saying sadly,"She figured out how Snow's using Peeta."

I turn towards Katniss and Haymitch again and hear him say,"It's okay. It'll be okay, sweetheart."

I faintly hear Katniss say,"I can't do this anymore Haymitch"

Haymitch merely mumbles,"I know."

"All I can think about is what he's going to do to Peeta, because I'm the Mockingjay." Katniss just barely gets out.

"I know" I hear Haymitch mumble

I see Katniss moving her lips but I can only hear the ending,"-It's my fault"

With that she falls into even more sobs to where she can't even talk.

I finally hear Haymitch tell Katniss,"I didn't want to tell you this till I was sure it would actually happen but it's to late for coin to say no now so... If everything goes well Peeta should be rescued by the end of tonight."

I see a glint of hope flash through her eyes as she stops sobbing and is about to say something as a Haymitch sedates her.

Soon after she falls into a deep sleep.

* * *

_Katniss' POV_

* * *

I was awoken by the sound of screeching wheels and screaming.

I looked towards Finnick's bed and see it empty.

I looked through the door window from my bed and could have sworn I saw Johanna but that's impossible because she is... in the ... capitol.

I then remember what Haymitch told me so I run to the door just in time to see Peeta rushed through the hall on a gurney.

The door immediately opens as I was reaching for the handle and Haymitch pushes me farther into the room.

I try to push past him tears of joy in my eyes until Haymitch delivers the grave news.

"Sweetheart the boys back but it's not looking good. He could survive or he could die." Haymitch finishes with a sad look

I immediately rush past him and follow the in the direction I saw Peeta go.

_Please Peeta don't leave me after I just got you again._

* * *

**And Finished!**

**I hope you like it because I am really proud of it.**

**Towards the end there was some things from the actual Mockingjay book which I put in because I couldn't have said it better than Suzanne Collins herself.**

**Please review, Favorite, Follow, and PM with your thoughts, suggestions, questions, constructive criticism, and ideas. All this will help me write a better story.**

**More reviews equal faster updates.**

**I hope you enjoyed it**

**till next time**

**-TobiasEverdeenJackson22456**


	2. Chapter: Authors Note

**I Know I know another Authors Note but I promise this will be the last authors note for a while.**

**For those who read my story Percy Jackson Guardian of the hunt, Champion of Many, From the few people who reviewed about the new name of this story I gone with the most popular vote which is ...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Jackson Chronicles: Ancient Powers Rising!**

**The title will change by tomorrow**

**Now on to the actual ****business I have decided that I am really bad at switching writing stories every week so I have decided that I will take one month dedicated to writing only one of my stories. By doing this it will help let the story flow better and be more thought out overall.**

**Here is the schedule that will continue as long as I think it is working for me.**

**The remaining of this month I will plan out everything**

**Next month I will be dedicated to writing ... Guardian of Artemis**

**November I will be writing... Slowly Disappearing**

**And December ...****Jackson Chronicles: Ancient Powers Rising**

**thanks for your continued reading of these stories **

**I hope you stay with these stories but I promise you when it comes time for a story to be written it will be well though out and pretty well written**

**see you next time**

**-TobiasEverdeenJackson22456**


End file.
